To be exact, even though Li Chaoyang could be considered as ‘woke up’, she actually wasn’t that fully awake yet.
According to the antidote formula provided by the Great Monk, there were countless medicinal herbs in it with most of them almost unheard of to Lu Qianqiao. Nevertheless, he had just asked Lord Meishan to take care of all the herbs ingredients for the antidote. The herbs were boiled daily in a giant tripod, and then the person who was cursed would be soaked in the medicine juice—though no one knew how long the cursed person should be soaked. Just like any other war demon, Lu Chaoyang had rough and thick skin. However, in recent months, her skin started to wrinkle and turned into yellow colour since the medicine juice was yellow.
When Lu Qianqiao arrived, she was curled up in a big vat filled with medicine juice as she was frowning and groaning. Her eyes were tightly closed and her facial expression was ever-changing.
The war demons from the Li family also crowded the room, with their eyes not even blinking once, as they just stared at her.
It was hard for them to see Li Chaoyang looking like this.
She was born in a noble family of war demons, thus she was taught to be strict and self-disciplined since she was a child and seldom talked or laughed like any other children. When she was 25 years old, she achieved a perfect war demon body, and from then on, she rarely frowned. It was hard to imagine Li Chaoyang having such rich expressions just like what she had shown right now.
Her brows were frowning tightly right now as if she was encountering something extremely difficult to decide in her dream. After a moment, the corners of her lips suddenly raised, and she started to smile.
She was smiling happily.
Li Min and the others didn’t dare to come out in this kind of atmosphere.
A snow-white sheet was suddenly laid down, covering the vat full of medicine juice. Lu Qianqiao bent down to lean on the side of the vat as he swept away the sticky wet hairs on her forehead and whispered, "Everybody out."
No matter how reluctant they were, Lu Qianqiao was, after all, the person who nearly had the perfect body of a war demon in the clan after his mother. War demons who had a fanatical admiration for power would never rebel against him, so now they obediently walked out of the room and closed the door gently.
Lu Qianqiao brought over a bucket of clean water. He untied her tangled long hair, carefully scrubbed it, and clumsily spread it opened with a horn comb.
She would smile at one time, then frown. Other times she would mourn and at the end, she finally felt relieved.
Did she just dream of the most brilliant twists and turns of her life?
He did not know much about the relationship between his parents. When he was very young, he had heard that the elder members of his family were not optimistic about his parents' marriage. Somehow, later on, his mother killed Lu Jingran and returned to the clan by herself. She then dismissed all vulnerable feelings she had of that man and from that moment, each of the mother and son was in a different corner of the world. This noob translation was translated by a noob translator きつね. Please read this chapter at xin-shou.blogspot.com.
Maybe…maybe, she and Lu Jingran also had sweet moments as he and Xin Mei had. Unlike him, the 17-year-old Li Chaoyang was more direct and warm in giving her affection. She had never even considered her future as she single-mindedly married the man she liked. At first, she must have also been very happy.
It was a pity that this trifling life had wasted this happiness. Maybe at that moment when she turned into a perfect war demon and killed Liu Jingran, her heart felt kind of relieved. However, she just lost to her murderous instinct, so all that remained was only emptiness and vague regret after she did some serious liberation of her actions.
Therefore, she did not want her only son to follow the same path as her?
Lu Qianqiao gently wiped her wet cheeks with a soft cloth. Suddenly, he could feel her eyelashes quivered, followed by two drops of bean-sized tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes that had been closed for nearly half a year, finally opened.
His movements immediately stop.
Two pairs of eyes silently gazed at each other.
“Qianqiao.”
It had been a long time since Li Chaoyang had last spoken, so her voice was hoarse and dry. For the first time, she looked at him with a smile, though there was also a little bit of sadness and tiredness in that smile of hers.
“I just dreamed of your father.”
Lu Qianqiao grabbed a lock of her wet hair and continued to comb it. “…what did he say to you?”
“He said, it seems like you have something to ask me, so he will have to wait a bit longer for me.”
She looked vaguely into the unknown distance and blinked in bewilderment.
“I feel very happy to see him again.”
Lu Qianqiao raised his eyes in astonishment when he heard the word ‘happy’ come out from her mouth. It was indeed beyond logic and above reason.
Li Chaoyang propped herself up in the vat, but she was too weak to even stand up. He raised his hand to help but she stopped him by holding his wrist instead. She said, “The mahogany cabinet on the east side, inside the third drawer on the right hand. Bring out its contents.”
He opened the drawer following her words, and inside the drawer, there was a purple brocade box. Two wax-coated pills in the size of chicken eggs were sealed inside the brocade box. Bright golden lights were flowing inside the pills and there was also a faint fragrance coming out from them.
He sent the wax pills over, but Li Chaoyang just shook her head.
"These are the last rewards left by the Gods...those that I and the Li family have worship from generation to generation. Only when we are facing the most difficult time will we dare to enjoy them. On that day, when you failed your transformation, the Fox Clan came to provoke me. I was thinking of taking those pills as a way to dismiss this predicament. However...and how fortunate that I didn’t need to use them."
There was a man still waiting for her at the waterside of River of Forgetfulness, time after time, day after day, month after month, year after year. It was truly unlikely for her to exchange an eternal immortal life for his waits and nothing could change her mind.
“My body still needs to rest a few years before I'm fully recovered. Qianqiao, today, I officially hand these two small red pills to you. I hope…you’ll never need to use it for the rest of your life.”
Lu Qianqiao bowed his head and smiled. He put the two pills inside the clothes on his chest. “I’ll help you up.”
The curse that was put on Li Chaoyang was extremely vicious and overbearing, plus she had to be soaked in medicine juice for nearly half a year to get rid of it. No matter how tough one's body was, one couldn't endure this kind of ordeal. In a year or two, she wouldn't be able to recover the elegant demeanour of a former perfect war demon. That Great Monk must have calculated this too, right? Although she was not actually being killed, this could still stall her for a few years, giving the Fox Clan a chance to breathe, or perhaps to give the two clans a chance to calm down.
When the Li family members learned that Li Chaoyang had woken up, they were filled with joy. This also made the other big families among the war demons rejoiced, thus making the cold atmosphere surrounding the War Demon Clan diluted a lot.
After she hurriedly washed clean the sticky medicine juice from her body, she became extremely exhausted and fell asleep again.
When the moon climbed high to the zenith, Lu Qianqiao was sitting on his mother’s bed with one hand on her wrist so that he could pay attention to her pulse at any time. While his other hand involuntarily felt inside the clothes on his chest and took out the well-wrapped amethyst hairpin.
Tomorrow would be the third day of the fifth lunar month, and he was afraid that he would not be able to go back and send this to her. This hairpin...seemed destined to not be worn on her head for her birthday.
……
The General was feeling a little depressed and a little guilty.
“Tell Li Yan to deliver that to the Imperial Mausoleum.”
Li Chaoyang who was on the bed suddenly opened her mouth which surprised him slightly.
She closed her eyes again and her expression looked calm, as she added, “There has been a lot of murderous look in the clan recently. So don’t bring that girl over. If you have something to send her, just let Li Yan deliver them.“
Lu Qianqiao hesitated for a moment. “Mother…”
“I won’t stop you, but when a person is still on the battlefield, with worry influences one’s heart, someone from the enemy will surely exploit this loophole. Qianqiao, I’m asking you to give my clan five years, at least until I fully recover, then you can go back.“
He was silent.
“If you miss her, then try your best to solve the Fox Clan matter in the shortest possible time without fears of trouble in the rear. This is how a capable husband should be.”
He was still silent.
“That girl will be waiting for you.”
Yes, Xin Mei would be waiting for him. He knew it very well. Five years or ten years, if it was her, she would firmly wait for him to come home without him needing to say anything.
While he was not a good husband who always made her wait.
However, Xin Mei, I will definitely go home.
In this world, only the place that has you is my real home.
*
Four years later, on the third day of the fifth lunar month—
It was the third day of the fifth lunar month again, and Xin Mei, as usual, got up before dawn. She picked up a steaming meat bun from the kitchen that she had made last night. As she blew the hot bun, she climbed up the hill slope and it had been a routine for her to watch into the distance from the hilltop.
If Lu Qianqiao wanted to come back, he would go this way. Today was her 21st birthday. He probably came back today, right? If he didn't come back this time, she would become an old woman.
The days before yesterday, Li Min came to deliver letters and gifts to her—Lu Qianqiao would write to her every month and each of the letters would be attached with a gift. Sometimes it would be a pearl eardrop, and sometimes, a necklace strung by seashore shells. She remembered once when he killed a monster, which she didn't know what kind of monster it was, but people said that its liver tasted good. So, he just told Li Yan to carry it in both of his hands, while it was still bloody, and sent it to her from far far away.
As a result, during the cooking process, the liver gave off a bad smell that made the group of monsters in the Imperial Mausoleum complained without stopping. Even Li Yan had to cover his nose as his complexion turned pale and refused to eat it at all. At last, she had to be the one who had to tackle the difficult job of having a bite of the liver. To leave some face for Liu Qianqiao, she buried the rest of the liver into a hole she had dug.
The day before yesterday, Li Min sent her a pink coloured silk skirt which was embroidered with peach blossoms. It was said that the material was made from rare green silk that hadn’t been seen for one thousand years. Also, it was lightly thin and looked beautiful, it also emitted a sweet smell.
He told her, "Young Master explained that by taking advantage of the spring scenery, he wanted you to put on these new clothes, and he also said that he wasn’t certain yet the day he would return."
Xin Mei frowned. “What do you mean by he wasn’t certain yet the day he would return?”
“How would I know? When the Young Master returns, you should ask him yourself.”
That hateful man, on her 17th birthday 3 years ago, had made her wait for him on this hillside for one whole day and yet he, himself didn't come. He only asked Li Yan to deliver a hair clasp with a letter to her. The wording of the letter was stiff and rigid, 【Wait for me, I will be back in five years.】
He was so sure that she would still wait for him? Now, after four years had passed, he played this kind of bewildering trick again, still uncertain on the day he would return?
“Oh, then, you go back and tell him on my behalf. If he doesn’t return this time, perhaps it will be about time I find another pretty boy as his replacement.”
Li Min was completely unmoved with her threat, “The Imperial Mausoleum is full of monsters, so there are no pretty boys here.”
Xin Mei felt a little angry, “Isn’t Li Yan a pretty boy?! Ask him to come next time!”
Li Min remained calm. “He won’t be able to come recently. He just turned 25 and is currently facing his own transformation.”
Over these few years, one after another from the younger generation of the War Demon Clan had suffered a transformation disaster. The year before, it was Li Min, and he had passed it smoothly. Even though he did not become a perfect war demon like Li Chaoyang, as a pureblood war demon who had passed the transformation disaster, it could be said that he was still able to raise his strong combat effectiveness. This year, it was Li Yan's turn. He was a pureblood war demon too. It should not be a big problem for him to pass it smoothly either.
It seemed that it was precisely because of this continuous addition of new fighting forces to the War Demon Clan recently that the Fox Clan had to withdraw from the old home that they had lived for generations, hiding from the pursuits of the war demons. It was said that some time ago, someone from that clan had written a letter of peace. She didn't know if it was true or not. Judging from Li Min and Li Yan’s attitude, they were no longer as nervous as they did before, and it was estimated that the dispute between the two clans would soon be over.
“By the way, the Young Master has a birthday present for you.”
Without any expression on his face, Li Min put down a wooden box which was half a human's height from his back to the ground. When it was opened wide, there were two lifelike dolls inside. One wore an armour, with a whip attached to its waist, which made it look quite majestic. While the other one, with its hair curled up and a mild smile on its face, wore a silk skirt, and it was holding carved tofu in its hands.
“Ah..." cried a shocked Xin Mei.
The two dolls...weren’t they the smaller version of her and Lu Qianqiao? The female doll had eyebrows, eyes, nose...even the doll grinning face and devil may care expression looked the same as her!
“Young Master said, these are…these are…”
Li Min frowned as he was really impatient to say these nauseating words.
“These are called ‘A Match Made in Heaven’.”
His heart was bleeding. How could a person like the Young Master who was brilliant, divinely mighty and cold-blooded on the battlefield say such disgusting and ambiguous words freely!
Xin Mei picked up the two dolls as she looked at one and kissed the other one. She couldn't close her mouth from smiling and she completely forgot what she said just now about looking for a pretty boy, a plan that she somehow had thrown beyond the topmost clouds.
“Then you tell him for me—Liu Qianqiao, I think you want me to suffer so much. Yes, it always rains in my heart. Only when you come back will my heart be full of sunshine again…”
“Stop!”
Li Min couldn't bear it any longer as he rubbed the goosebumps that appeared on his body.
“Only within five words.”
“Oh, then tell him to come home early."
……
She didn’t know if Li Min brought this sentence to him or not, but she had been waiting on the hillside for an hour just like usual, and she didn’t see even half of a human figure. Instead, she saw several evil spirits lingered in the pit where they had been buried alive.
A moment later, Xin Xiong waved at her from the foot of the hill shouting, “Little Mei, it’s time for dinner!”
He had left the business of Xinxie Manor to his disciples two years ago. Then, he took his wife's tablet and moved to the Imperial Mausoleum to live with his daughter. He had taken care of himself for his allotted life span and for once, he had nothing to do. So he taught Tao Guoguo and his brother how to read, helped Silan grew some vegetables, and discussed with Zhao Guanren how to write his play book to become more fascinating.
However, Xin Mei felt that his greatest strength was when he dragged Miss Yinglian all day long to advise her of the truth of life, and his tongue was bright like lotus flowers. Anything unreasonable would become reasonable when he said it. He had no reason to say that he wasn't right about it. He was advising her to consider marrying Xiong Shushu who lived in the north and he had personally come to propose.
On this matter, Xin Xiong was very proud of himself, “How should I say this, this son-in-law is also a hot-blooded young man. So, a beautiful banshee has a secret crush on him all this time, though I’m sure nothing will happen from it. So precious treasure, you don’t have to worry. Dad will help you solve this problem.“
Her father was really a magical being. After living for 21 years, Xin Mei had become more and more sure of this.
“Is son-in-law still unable to keep up with your birthday this year?”
Xin Xiong casually asked during their meal.
Xin Mei frowned, “I don’t know, but this is not the first time he did this, so, it doesn’t matter.”
Xin Xiong thought for a moment. “Precious treasure, shall we give your mother light incense stick after dinner?”
After Xin Xiong moved to the Imperial Mausoleum, the north parlour that was piled up with sundries had been turned into a small ancestral hall where incense burners and a spirit tablet were placed. He never stopped putting fresh water and fresh flowers there every day while lighting an incense stick for his dead wife.
After lighting two incense sticks, they stood in front of the spirit tablet and meditated for a moment. Suddenly, he said, "Your Mom was a disciple of the Immortal Sect. She was chivalrous, and regarded the four corners of the world as her home which had made her an awesome person to me."
Xin Mei was shocked. Although Dad often talked about how nice and gentle Mom was in front of her, he never told her what her Mom did actually. She always thought her Mom was just an ordinary lady.
“After we got married, she often couldn’t stay at home. Her sect often had orders for her. When she went, it would either be a short one which usually took several months or a long one which took several years. I never knew when she would be back, so I would light two lanterns in front of the gate every day. At that time, Lushui town was very poor. No one put up lanterns in front of their house at night, but then I started to think, the two lanterns that I put in front of the gate were very conspicuous. When your Mom saw them, she would not go the wrong way and she would know that I was waiting for her at home.“
Xin Mei blinked and turned to go, “Then I’ll light a lantern outside the Imperial Mausoleum.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Xin Xiong quickly grabbed her and wiped his sweat. It was really difficult for him to communicate with this daughter of his.
“For two people to get along well together, both have to yield a little with each other. You two are still young, and Son-in-law is so powerful. If your Mom was as powerful as Son-in-law, don’t say four years, I would have waited for her even for fourteen years. It was a pity that she was hurt before you were born. But when you were born, she couldn’t survive the injury for a few months after that. But I had a good life with her, all the time when we were married. I have no regrets. So don’t always think about how Son-in-law hasn’t come back yet, and your two good days together have gone. His home is here, and he certainly wants to come back earlier. So don’t blame him.“
Xin Mei thought for a moment and nodded, "If I'm blaming him, I won't have been waiting for him."
Xin Xiong smugly touched his beard, “My family's precious treasure is already the second-best woman in the world.”
“Why not first under the heaven?”
“Nonsense! The first place has already been taken by your Mom.”
After they had done putting down the incense, Zhao Guanren took Xin Xiong away. Over the years, the ending part of the ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven’ had been changed so many times, but it had not yet been finished. Xin Mei told him to conform to the facts, Xin Xiong expressed that he did not like unoriginal melodramatic, Tao Guoguo said he wanted to see a fight, and Ying Lian wanted to see scenes that could provide food for thought. While Silan said...he said, just let those boring puppet shows go to hell.
Zhao Guanren felt very embarrassed. These days, he had to pull Xin Xiong together to discuss the ending plot for the play. In fact, Xin Xiong was the only one in the Imperial Mausoleum who was willing to discuss it with him.
Seeing the two old men walking away, Xin Mei stretched herself and continued to climb the usual hillside.
Lilacs were currently in bloom, in addition to cherry blossoms and apricot blossoms that had not yet withered, they made everywhere look bright and colourful, also serenely warm.
It was a very beautiful spring scene.
Xin Mei sang a tune on her way up the hillside. Dear beloved gege, why don’t you come, I’ll wait till all the flowers soon withered.
Her out of practice tunes were so out of key that they scared the birds to fly far away, while countless little birds went off like rockets.
When she was going to sing for the fourth time, the sound of someone stepping on the grass could be heard from the slope. Xin Mei was lying on the grass when in a moment, her neck was raised high as she squinted at the slope.
Two muddy boots walked all the way to her side. The dusty man sat beside her and touched her head.
“…I’m back, so stop singing.”
If she continued to sing, the birds in this forest would never dare to settle down there anymore.
Xin Mei suddenly jumped up from her seat, opened up her round eyes, as she stared at the man who was covered in dust beside her with an incredible mixture of alarm and ecstasy. His red and black eyes were as deep and focused as ever, as they silently stared at her.
“Lu Qianqao!” she cried, as she grabbed him by his cheeks and started to pull them from side to side.
Is this really him? I can’t be wrong, right?
He smiled and stretched out his hand as he gently pulled her face, following her example, “Xin Mei.”
In the next moment, she rushed into his dusty arms, as he opened his hands and hugged her tightly.
The precious person in her heart had finally returned home.
—End of the story—
【Extras】
Extra 1: Ending part of Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven
(The most sensational story in history, with tens of millions of people shed their tears after watching it. Zhao Guanren devoted his heart and soul to create the legendary classic love story, ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven.’)
Ladies and gentlemen, those who have grand pointy horns, those who have magnificent scale skins, and also those monsters who have seven colours of the rainbow eyes, I’m very honoured for your arrival tonight to support this performance.
After a long period of neglecting my sleep and forgetting my food, and also spitting out my heart and spilling my blood, the final part of my ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven’ has finally completed. Hereto, I also have to express a special thanks to gentleman Xin Xiong who had exerted all his strength to aid me, with him not mind taking all the trouble to help me sorted out my train of thought. He inspired me when I was in despair, otherwise, you wouldn’t have the chance to watch the final part of ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven’ today.
Besides, I would also like to thank many people, such as Tao Guoguo and his younger brother who often tore my play book and forced me to look for inspiration again. Miss Yinglian, who recently urged me to replace the hero and heroine with a bear demon and lotus spirit. Furthermore, to gentleman Silan who abused my spirit with sarcastic remarks every day, and—the source of inspiration for the whole story, Miss Xin Mei.
Without you people destroying and torturing me mentally and physically, there would not have been a new ending for ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven’ today! Nor is there a new Zhao Guanren who has been reborn and surpasses his own limits!
There is a lot more I want to say…
“—shut up, old man!”
A bag of sunflower seed shells suddenly covered Zhao Guanren’s head. Followed by loquat seeds, watermelon rinds, teacups, straw sandals and the like smashed onto the stage, one after another. With a bloody nose and swollen face, Zhao Guanren rolled towards backstage. The lanterns on the stage went out one by one. Little Mei, a doll with picturesque features and graceful looks, floated to the surface of the stage.
Watermelon rinds
Image Credit | ROBIN SHREEVES (5 recipes for watermelon rinds, July 8th, 2016)
via Mother Nature Network
Image Credit | ROBIN SHREEVES (5 recipes for watermelon rinds, July 8th, 2016)
via Mother Nature Network
Chinese Tea Cups
Image Credit | fotohunter/Shutterstock via Tom Order (How tea changed the world, April 2nd, 2015) at Mother Nature Network
Image Credit | fotohunter/Shutterstock via Tom Order (How tea changed the world, April 2nd, 2015) at Mother Nature Network
At present, there was a torrent of white waves—Little Mei, who was deeply hurt by the General in the last scene, intended to jump into the river to commit suicide.
Before she jumped into the river, she would pose, shake her sleeves and twirled precariously, then chanted a sad love poem to the monstrous white waves.
“Qian Qiao, I’ll wait for you a thousand under—I’ll wait for you in the water, even when water comes. I’ll wait for you in the ashes, even when the fire comes…“
With its long sleeves being flung upward, they covered the face that capable of causing the downfall of a state. Her exquisite body was drawing a poignant arc in the air—she just jumped! (Xin Mei turned back and spit out the melon shell: A woman like this who talks a lot before she dies and does not forget to pose will probably not going to die.)
At this critical juncture, the sweet-sounding singing of birds of paradise could be heard from the horizon, and a bright golden light suddenly flashed by. A handsome young man who could not be described by words flew into the air, made a circle in mid-air, raised his hand to hold Little Mei who had committed suicide in his arms, and then continued to land on the shore like a top. (Lu Qianqiao crushed a walnut: Who made this new doll?! Who allowed you, people, to make such a beautiful Great Monk?!)
“Miss, life is short, so it is important to enjoy life while you still can. This matter isn’t something that truly heartbreaking in the world, and it isn’t worth it for you to kill yourself.“
The Great Monk lovingly parted a bit of hair on her forehead and his voice was soft and gentle like a sweet liquor.
Little Mei in his arms, looked at his face that was like a celestial being, which made a bumping fawn in her heart as she suddenly went absent-minded, “Unexpectedly, a man with such magnificent style unmatched in his generation exist in this world…”
Her stunned appearance drew an evil smile from the Great Monk as he lowered his head down, and stopped when the tip of his nose was almost touching the tip of her nose.
“Do you like what you see?” he asked.
(Xin Mei: He must be very ugly, isn’t he? As a result, he has to wear that many layers of masks, just because he can’t confront his true self, so he’s willing to deceive himself to this extent.)
Little Mei got her mind back because of his action, and struggled to free herself even with her flush face, “Let go of me! Let go of me!”
The Great Monk laughed and restrained her fidgeting body, “I am a monk who devotes myself to spiritual practice. I am willing to listen to the sad things in your heart. So, come on, talk to me in my carriage.“
After that, he could not resist himself as he forcibly took her into his gorgeous long carriage.
Little Mei quickly confided to the Great Monk about things that had been weighing on her mind after she had been submitted to his half-forced and half-tender attack. He was pleasantly surprised when he heard this. This was like wearing iron shoes, without him spending so much of his time and energy. It turned out that the Great Monk’s Fox Clan and the General’s War Demon Clan had been feuding for generations and unfortunately, this feud currently suffered from no breakthrough. Now the General’s woman fell into his own hands, which was a godsend.
The Great Monk had ulterior motives as he treated Little Mei gently and thoughtfully in every possible way. Needless to say, he even did cliché acts like coiling her hair up, buttoned up her clothes and put flowers on her hair with his own hands. Once, when Little Mei was ill, the doctor even said that there was no cure to it. Unless she was blessed with the blood of the Gods. Thus, the Great Monk did not hesitate to cut his wrist and gave her a bucket of blood. He would accompany her in drinking them and bathe in them, which finally brought her back from the dead. (Lu Qianqiao: Watch out, Zhao Guanren. He will die one day if the Fox Clan sees this play.)
Little Mei gradually sunk into the Great Monk’s tenderness, and her tender feelings towards the General finally began to sway. One day, she heard that the Fox Fairy and the Gossip Immortal had come over looking for her after they heard that she had been abandoned by the General. This news was still able to make Little Mei heartbroken. Originally, the General had complied with his mother’s arrangement, which was to marry a noble lady of War Demon Clan today—(the stage perspective changes to the General’s bridal chamber.)
Inside the jubilant, red as fire bridal chamber, the General was drinking a nuptial cup with the bride, with a voiceover saying, 【Finally, I have come to this step. Mother has used Little Mei’s life to force me, so I have to give up my most beloved woman and marry a stranger from my War Demon Clan. Hate me, Little Mei! I rather have you hate me deeper than you forget about me! To continue the blood of the perfect war demon, we cannot be so selfish…although my body belongs to this stranger, my soul will always be with you! 】
When the bride’s veil was uncovered, the tipsy General was dazzled to find that the bride and Little Mei looked somewhat alike. In his rapture, he pushed her down, tore up his clothes happily…the candle flickered in the red room as the bed turned upside down like it had been hit by waves. The General had adulterous affairs with the bride many many times. While, thousands of miles away, a peach blossom which was put at the head of Little Mei’s bed quietly withered. (Lu Qianqiao: In other words, I will only do adulterous acts in this play?)
The angle of view changed again. Little Mei, who knew that the General had married, was emotionally knocked down again. She was only wearing a thin silk dress in the middle of the night, half seductive and half decadent. She climbed onto the high platform while feeling light on her feet. She once again swung her sleeves around and was ready to commit suicide again.
Afterwards, the Great Monk rescued her once again, and because of this, he fought with the Fox Fairy and Gossip Immortal. For a moment, a white light flashed in the mix, and the three people who fought in mid-air suddenly hovered between life and death. (Xin Mei: Does Meishan daren has any other special ability other than being struck by lightning?) [T/N]
The Great Monk was indeed fierce as he alone could beat the Fox Fairy and the Gossip Immortal into rags, but he, himself was severely injured and he was on the verge of dying. Xiao Mei took good care of him with a complex mood. In the process of taking care of him, they got involved in an adultery affair.
“Marry me, and I can give you a just and honourable status! Forget that ruthless General. If you can’t forget him, I will bring his head and make you bury your remaining fragile feelings for him.“
The Great Monk held Xiao Mei’s hand tightly and made a lifelong pledge to her.
“I will love you all my life. I will never leave you and never let you feel sad.”
Little Mei was in a dilemma, and the Great Monk didn’t have the patience to wait, so—the lights suddenly turned off, and the Great Monk forced himself on her.
“Don’t! I don’t want this! You, if you act like this again, I will shout!“ Despite her burning desire, Little Mei still struggled to refuse his advance.
“You can shout! There are all my people here, and no one will come to your rescue even if you scream your head off!“
The Great Monk tore off her clothes.
Little Mei shed two helpless and desperate streams of tears, as she watched her clothes become rags and flew everywhere.
(Xin Mei: Why didn’t she just scream her head off?)
The Great Monk was familiar with this kind of thing. He used his body to tell her exactly what it was called ‘three shallow deep’, ‘nine shallow deep’, ‘Guanyin sitting on a lotus’, ‘embracing the moon’…with all these kinds of tricks, Little Mei turned from resistance to obedience, as tears kept flowing down from her eyes. Finally, she had been conquered from her body to her mind by the monk. (Lu Qianqiao: Am I thinking too much? Zhao Guanren is not satirising me, is he….?)
Determined to forget the past, Little Mei promised to marry the Great Monk. While thousands of miles away, unknown from where the General heard the news, he became a beauty with red cheeks when he burst into anger, with a voice-over saying, 【She was born for me, and in death, she will be my ghost! I would rather have her hate me than let other men get her! 】
The war between the Fox Clan and the War Demon Clan started again because of this matter. To compete for the beauty, their battles were in full swing, with flesh and blood flying and also numerous casualties. (Zhao Guanren wildly growled from the backstage: No more chicken blood! Come on! Pour out the prepared cinnabar! Cinnabar! Cinnabar! Whoever uses chicken blood will have to kill himself!)
Little Mei felt utterly grieved, with a voice-over saying, 【Ah, what a sinful woman I am! How can I bear the burden of so many innocent people dying for me? I shouldn’t have been born in this world. Without me, you wouldn’t have slaughtered each other. That’s right, if only there were no me! This time I must end this! Absolutely! 】
Little Mei went to the front line of the war alone, where the two men were fighting to the death. She had not seen the General for so long, and when she first saw him, she shed tears of grief mixed with joy.
The General said, “Little Mei! I have left behind my blood relationship as a descendant of the war demons! From now on, I am free. Follow me!“
The Great Monk said, “You are my wife already, so follow me back home!”
Little Mei swallowed back her bitter tears, walked to the Great Monk’s side with tears in her eyes, and looked back at the General with a sad smile, “Qian Qiao, everything between us is already over. Once, you always asked me to wait for you, but now I’m already tired. I can’t wait for you anymore. Just let me go.“
After she had done saying that, she supported the Great Monk to turn around and walked away with him.
With feelings of shock and anger, the General waved his long whip towards the direction of the unsuspecting Great Monk. Little Mei sacrificed herself by throwing her body out and the whip mercilessly broke her spine. She was like a small white flower drifting away. She whirled wildly in circles like she had been blown by the magical wind, and in the end, the delicate and lovely girl fell to the ground.
“No—!! “
The two men’s heartbreaking voices sounded at the same time.
The audiences were crying at this moment. This segment was the climax and Zhao Guanren’s masterpiece, so he quietly leaned out his head from the background, wanting to see the General and Xin Mei’s reactions, but who would have thought that the middle two seats on the front row were empty!
In utter amazement, Zhao Guanren grabbed a monster nearby and asked, “Where is the General?! When did he leave?“
The monster sobbed as he wiped his tears, “At the part when it shed blood like water.”
Did this play upset the General again?! Zhao Guanren felt quite nervous.
The two people who made him this nervous were currently sitting in the empty kitchen. Lu Qianqiao was kneading dough in a basin, while Xin Mei was making dumplings bases from the dough that he had kneaded. Both of their hands were full of flour.
“It doesn’t matter to you not to watch its ending?”
Lu Qianqiao was ashamed. He didn’t eat much this morning. As a result, he was so hungry that he let out a cry that Xin Mei could hear. Thus, she dragged him to the kitchen to cook something for him to eat. He knew that she liked watching puppet shows very much. When she sees wonderful parts, she often neglected to sleep and forgot about food.
“It was noisy and not very interesting.”
Xin Mei smiled and moulded a small white rabbit with the dough and held it in front of him like she was presenting a treasure, “Look! Doesn’t it look good? This will be steamed for you to eat.“
He smiled and hesitated for a while. Then he took a lump of dough and moulded it. He moulded it into a tiger and gave it to her, “Then, this one will be eaten by you.”
Xin Mei frowned, and stared at him for a long time, before she asked, “This is…a tortoise? A loach? Eh, it’s very…very unique.”
Good loaches for your aquarium, if you have one :
Image Credit | The Spruce/Collin Tighe via Shirlie Sharpe (Which Loach Species Is Best for Your Aquarium? Dec 7th,2019) at The Spruce Pets
Image Credit | The Spruce/Collin Tighe via Shirlie Sharpe (Which Loach Species Is Best for Your Aquarium? Dec 7th,2019) at The Spruce Pets
“……”
Lu Qianqiao silently crushed the poor tiger.
Xin Mei wiped her face, and a bit of the flour stained her face. Lu Qianqiao tried to wipe it with his sleeve, but the more he wiped it, the whiter it became. He was hesitating whether to wash his hands or not. Suddenly, he heard the sound of striking gongs and banging drums from the stage in the distance. He reckoned that the play had reached its climax, as he could also hear the cries of monsters from time to time.
She grinned, "It's so noisy outside, but fortunately, we dodged it."
Then, she rubbed her hands together to get rid of the flours, and with the sound of ‘pa’ both of her hands cupped his face. Two messy faces stared at each other, and she finally burst out laughing.
“Naughty.”
Lu Qianqiao perked up the corner of his mouth and flicked her forehead.
There was still a lot of noise outside. Some were fighting, some were crying, some were laughing and some were just making noises, but these had nothing to do with them. Let the people outside be noisy. Whether it was love, hate, affection, or enmity. Whether they were conflicts between clans, or whether the country was ruined and the people were starving, nothing could be compared to the instant pleasure of cooking dumplings together.
They were all other people’s stories. It had nothing to do with them nor the Imperial Mausoleum.
“…Xin Mei, you have eaten 30 dumplings.”
“I’m still not full yet.”
"…we only made a total of 30 dumplings."
“Uh…”
“Want to continue wrapping the dumplings?”
“Yes, let’s continue. This time, you should eat first.“
……
Zhao Guanren, who had been hiding out of the window, took a long breath and wiped the cold sweat on his forehead. Suddenly, he was inspired—he had decided! He should start writing another galley proof for ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven’!
This time, it would be a love murder case caused by a dumpling!
Noob Translator's Musing
Sorry, I thought I would be free. Who would have thought that I would have more work to do.
This is the last chapter and also the longest chapter ever for MMIH. There will be 3 more extra chapters after this chapter. I try to finish one of the 3 in the next few days.
Oh, one more thing.
04.03.2020: I just noticed that I've posted two chapters into one. (⌒_⌒;) Sorry for that.
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A Match Made In Heaven